Coming home after a therapy retreat: integration and aftercare
Coming home from a therapy retreat adds something an intensive at home does not: travel, and a sudden change of setting, while the work is still settling. The first days back tend to go better with rest built in, a gentle return to work and family, and follow-up sessions already booked. The wider principles of integration after concentrated therapy are the same as for any intensive.
The general picture of integration after concentrated therapy, including what the first weeks are usually like, what aftercare should include and whether the effects last, is covered in what happens after a therapy intensive.
Three things that make coming home different
The travel. After an intensive at home, you close the laptop or leave the therapy room and are in your own space within minutes. After a retreat, there may be long flights, airports, crowds and time zones between the last session and your own bed. That is a lot of stimulation while you are still tender.
The change of setting. A retreat setting is usually chosen to be restful, with the days organised around you. Home has its own demands, people and reminders. The contrast can be sharp, and some people feel it as a loss.
Distance from the therapist. On a retreat, the therapist was nearby. At home, follow-up is usually online, sometimes across time zones.
None of these is a problem in itself. They are easier to manage when planned for.
Planning the return
- Leave a gap. If possible, rest for a day before travelling home, instead of leaving straight from the last session.
- Travel gently. Allow extra time, choose simple routes and take things that help you settle, such as headphones, food you like and something familiar.
- Arrive to space. Plan a quieter day or two at home before work and full family life resume.
- Keep the first week light. Fewer social plans, enough sleep and some time alone.
- Have follow-up booked. The first follow-up session should be arranged before you leave the retreat, at a time that works in your time zone.
Jet lag and tiredness
Jet lag makes everything feel harder, including emotions. Tiredness after long travel can be mistaken for the work going wrong. It helps to know this in advance, and to be cautious about judging how you are doing until you have slept properly for a few nights.
Telling people about it
Some people come home wanting to talk about what happened. Others want to keep it private. Both are fine.
You do not owe anyone an account of your therapy. It can help to have a simple sentence ready, such as "I had some time away to focus on myself, and I'm still settling back in". It can also help to tell one or two people what would be useful from them that week.
What can happen in the first weeks
As after any concentrated therapy, it is common to feel tired, emotional or unsettled for a while. Dreams may be vivid. Old patterns may show up again under pressure, which does not mean the work has been undone. Research on trauma-focused therapy has found that a temporary rise in symptoms happens for some people, that it is not linked to dropping out, and that people who experience it still tend to improve.
What tends to help is what helps after any intensive: rest, routine, gentle movement, time outdoors, and noticing changes without forcing them.
Aftercare across time zones
If you travelled far for the retreat, your therapist may be in a different time zone once you are home. Agree before you leave:
- when follow-up sessions will take place, in your time
- how to contact the therapist between sessions, and how quickly they usually respond
- who to contact locally if you need help quickly, such as your own therapist or doctor
- whether the retreat therapist will liaise with your existing therapist, if you have one
When to reach out sooner
Contact your therapist, or your local doctor or emergency services, sooner than planned if you feel unsafe, cannot function day to day, or notice thoughts of harming yourself. Distance from the retreat should never mean being on your own with that.
Common questions
Why do I feel flat after such a good retreat?
A drop in mood after an intense experience away is common, whatever the experience. Leaving a setting where all your needs were attended to, and returning to ordinary demands, can feel abrupt. It usually eases within days. If it deepens or lasts, contact your therapist.
Should I go straight back to work?
If you can, give yourself one or two quieter days first. Jet lag, travel tiredness and the after-effects of concentrated therapy add up, and returning to full demands immediately can make it harder for the work to settle.
What if my family does not understand what I have been through?
You do not need to explain everything. It can help to tell those close to you what you need in the first week, such as time alone or fewer social plans, without giving details of the work itself.
Lucy Orton's private retreats build integration time into the days, and follow-up continues online after clients return home.
References
- Larsen, S. E., Wiltsey Stirman, S., Smith, B. N., & Resick, P. A. (2016). Symptom exacerbations in trauma-focused treatments: Associations with treatment outcome and non-completion. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 77, 68-77. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2015.12.009
This page is general information about intensive therapy. It is not a substitute for individual assessment or advice, and reading it does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you are in crisis or at risk of harm, contact local emergency services or a crisis line now. How these articles are written and checked: our editorial standards.